“And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as dead.” (Revelation 1:17a, NKJV)
Sunday night we had a time of praise and prayer. Usually we determine to worship the Lord and then wait upon Him for how He would minister to us. I don’t know the direction until that evening. But Sunday was different. I woke up thinking that we really need more of Jesus, and that this was to be an opportunity. But then the theme really ended up being on brokenness as the means of revival.
What we see when John falls at the Lord’s feet as dead is brokenness. Observe that it does not occur by direct pursuit. John did not wake up that morning saying to himself, “How can I be broken today?” His brokenness occurred at the point of really seeing Jesus. Many times we are staring Jesus right in the face, but like the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, we don’t recognize Him (Luke 24.13-32). We can’t imagine Jesus appearing to us in pain, heartache and evil circumstances. “That’s not the Jesus I know,” we say. But the face of Jesus is revealed in each of these. When we see Jesus in it, then we fall down as dead. We realize that all our efforts have been futile. They pale in comparison to His glorious light. This is brokenness, and it must occur in us before God can really use us. We must see how vain all our self-effort and self-reliance truly is. Then, and only then, can God pour into us His Holy Spirit that flows out to others through our brokenness.
I remember as a child visiting the Harrah’s Automobile Collection with my dad. There were hundreds of classic cars that had been completely restored. They were beautiful to look at but completely useless, other than as museum pieces. But if God had a collection of souls, they would not be so beautiful…at least not at first. If they weren’t broken when He got them, then He would surely break them. He would wreck them of their pride; He would strip them of their self-will. But then He would pour His healing life into them. Each swing of a hammer, each touch of the Master’s hand, each new part would be an act of beautiful restoration. He would not renew these souls merely to be show pieces in a museum but to use them. He would send them out into all the world to demonstrate what He can do with brokenness so that other broken souls could find hope.
Sometimes we feel that we have had quite enough of brokenness, thank you. But it isn’t for us to determine. The mere fact that we assert ourselves and say, “That’s enough!” only proves that we’re not dead yet. A dead man doesn’t kick, scream or fight back when you poke him.
“Lord, forgive us when we have not recognized you in the pains of life. We have blamed others; maybe we’ve blamed ourselves; but we haven’t seen you in these things as the Master Artisan. Open our eyes to see you and to fall at your feet as dead. Help us bow to your breaking until you say, ‘Enough.””
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